Nonno Silence

So, this is what silence feels like.



Like an extra empty glass sitting at a widows table.

I walked into the room and was blinded by the dark shades of red and brown. The smell, a scent yet indescribable, a mixture of flowers and tears. It was somehow familiar to me, I guess that's what sorrow smells like.



I glanced over at the casket, just for a moment, I hoped to find it vacant. The coffin was made of Cherry wood, embellished with shiny gold and bronze trim to fabricate the truth.



I had to walk over to him but how could I?



The silence is softly slithering through my veins. I wanted to scream so that I wouldn't hear my heart beat. Like an African drum, my emotions where singing a terrifically horrifying rhythm.



My legs start moving to the beat, I get closer but I don't want to. And then I see him, I cant help but stare.



I softly kissed his forehead. He was cold, like a frostbitten child. And that's when I started to feel the silence. I stopped hearing. No one said a word, or maybe they did? I just didn't hear them.



In a world where I am the only one who speaks, there is no movement. No words are spoken yet I understand the banter. The silence was in my bones now, deep in the apex of my heart there was nothing. In a room full of hugs and shoulders to rest on, I was alone, completely alone. Minutes felt like hours, Hours felt like days, the days never ended.



Throughout that time I watched my child hood flash before my face. It was buried with him, sealed up in his airtight bed.



My childhood, my grandpa, my nonno, is gone forever. And I am left empty, feeling only what I can describe as silent.